Training Our Little Girl To Be Modest

Its been more than a year since my last post. Anyway some updates, Heavenne and I are back in Jeddah since November 2010 and we're expecting a baby boy soon, we found it out Dec. 27 - and considers it as the best gift of 2010 to our family. Although Hevyn is telling she really wants a baby sister,with a serious face, she has now accepted the fact that its a boy unlike before when she would sob every time we explain to her its a boy and not a girl.

She's a grown up girl now, we think she is, and she always surprises us with her humor and thoughts. Training and teaching her is becoming a real challenge now that she's learned to reason out. Most of the time she wants to do things herself, this is what we often hear from her, "I can do it by myself". Yes, she does most of the things by herself now, she wants to take a bath alone and wash herself; change her own clothes countless times a day; and use the computer, she even claims that the laptop is hers since the time she asked Kenji if she could have it, who noded and said yes because he didn't thought that her daughter is asking it seriously.

Few nights ago, we decided that we need to take a walk outside and Heavenne dressed up, as usual she picked her own dress. Kenji noticed that the dress is cute but too sexy, which I thought would be just fine because it's really humid outside. While the little girl is looking at herself in the mirror, posing this way and that which is cute for a little girl. The father decided we need to talk to the little girl and ask her to put something that would cover her back and arms and its not too early to teach a child how to dress modestly- and I agree with him. Thumbs up daddy!

I wonder what happened to the fashion now. Most girls would take modesty as old fashion. I highly respect those girls who could keep their way of clothing modest and still be fashionable. The way we dress up outside does reflect on our virtue and our values as an individual. When we watched the wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William, I noticed and adored how the royal family has preserved the elegance and modesty when it comes to fashion. That's the fashion that many women forgot as they cling to fads. I don't think the world needs to dictate what is beautiful based on how much we reveal our bodies. The high cost of textiles nowadays might also be the reason, but the value of each square inch on our body is worth covering too, and far more expensive than what you will spend on every yard of textile. Beauty is within every woman, it is in the way she conducts herself around people, it is in the words that comes out of her mouth, it is in her pure thoughts, and in the skills and talents she strive to develop, and it is on how she considers her body as a temple of God, how she treats it with respect and take care of her health. The way we dress sends a message to the world how much we value ourself, and our body. The rich and wise man doesn't flaunt with his treasures as he walk down the street, else he'll end up being robbed by it.

“Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you. …

“Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. Young women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, ‘Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?’ ”
For the Strength of Youth (pamphlet, 2001), 14–16.

This song about virtue sang by Jenny Phillips is for our daughter, I hope you will find your way on it, and find your own way being beautiful.

The X-expat Life

Two days ago, I dreamed I was still in KSA, doing my daily routines in the house. Its hard to think that we're no longer living there, although the future gives a brighter hope for our small family. The place we used to call home is miles away and we're far from going back there or living in the same house if ever we got the chance to go back there.

Hevyn would still ask at times to go home, and we knew what she meant by that. Life seems very strange now, and it feels like our small family of three is floating homeless in our own country while we wait for our next destination wherever that maybe.

There are some who thinks that the life of an expat or OFW family is easy and would define it as comfort. Yet there are many sacrifices unseen by many who do not understand what it's like to live in a foreign land, adhere to their culture, and leave the place or places you've once called home. I envy the Filipinos who has the chance to stay and fortify with what they have. They don't have to leave anything behind, they don't have to move to a new place every now and then.

Right now, the most important lesson I learned is to hold on together as family no matter what happens and wherever the Lord brings us.

With whatever we have, the only way to be happy is to recognize and be grateful for the smallest blessing we are enjoying no matter how different our life maybe from what we desire it to be.

Leaving and Living

In less than a week our family will be leaving Saudi Arabia for good. And although living here may sound so tight for me, having to wear abaya and everything that prohibits a woman from doing so many things, I surely will miss this place. This has been our home for the last three years and I sooo love being here. I love the way it makes me feel safe, and respected.

I don't know if my daughter will ever remember living here, but this is the place where she was born. It seems like she doesn't have a clue why there are many boxes scattered in the house that was once neat and tidy looking. I know she will miss it here, her playmates and good friends. The place where many of her first first happened, first birthday, first step, first everything. And because its not that easy to come over here for a visit unless a family member works here, I'm not so sure if she or our family will ever see the place again. But the memories will always stay with us, this had been our home, our first home.

Last night we went to Al Rashid Mall to buy some stuffs and to take Hevyn for some rides in the amusement. We had good time, Hevyn rode the carousel which is her favorite. And before we went home we also had some pictures taken at a booth. We had a great quality time together and we're all tired by the time we got home, and we realized we forgot to buy the stuffs that we came for.

Wherever we go after this, will be another adventure for our small family. And as we leave, the memories will continue to live in our hearts with our friends that we also call our family in Saudi Arabia.

A Burden Not Ours To Carry

I realized I haven't updated my blog for almost a year, and maybe it's time to redeem it. Although I've been quite busy taking care of my baby who is now a little girl, I do miss the times when I simply feel like posting something here and I find time to do it.

For the last year, I have to admit, I felt terribly hurt by some people who I trusted, some people I almost consider as my family. My hubby who is my very best of best friends know everything about this and he's been the shoulder I cried on to for so many months, I'm more than grateful for having him, for his patience and counsels to help me get through this. He would always remind me to let things go, forget, and forgive, I would agree that he is right. And I also thought I had forgiven these people, but now I think I didn't. There were times I still feel terribly bad about what they did, and I would find reasons and excuses why they did it but could not find comfort in doing so. Why can't I just forgive and forget just like a child. My PPD added to what happened brought so much sadness and tears that I've been trying to conceal from those people around me.

A couple of months ago, I asked my hubby, why would the Lord command us to forgive our neighbor seventy times seven, we're not the one who sinned why give the commandment to us? Why not command those people to ask forgiveness to those they hurt? And why forgive if they haven't ask for forgiveness? Its not making much sense, because first of all you aren't the one who did wrong, its actually you who were hurt. And just as I ponder about it, I understood why. We were asked to forgive because the burden of the sin of other people isn't for us to carry. It's something we don't deserve to carry after all. Maybe that's why we are always counseled to "forGIVE" and "forGET". We have to GIVE that burden to the Lord as we obey his counsel to forgive, and when we do we will GET that peace and comfort for our sorrows. Now it doesn't sound unfair anymore, I know that that commandment is given to us for our own happiness. There is no other way to move on and ease the pains others have inflicted on us, but only through forgiving and forgetting their wrongs. I learned from this experience that we don't have to keep it in our hearts to grow into hatred, make us feel depressed or unhappy, it is something we have to let go, and we don't have to suffer more by carrying that burden with us.

I feel embarrassed as I write this, but I hope you'll learn something that might add up to the smile of happiness and peace in our lives in case there is someone you haven't forgiven yet.

As Elder James Faust said : "If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being."

‘When Is Success a Failure?’

When Is Success a Failure?

President Hugh B. Brown

When you are doing the lower while the higher is

possible,

When you are not a cleaner, finer, larger man on

account of your work,

When you live only to eat and drink, have a good time,

and accumulate money, then success is a failure.

When you do not carry a higher wealth in your

character than in your pocketbook,

When the attainment of your ambition has blighted the

aspirations and crushed the hopes of others,

When hunger for more money, more land, more houses

and bonds has grown to be your dominant passion,

When your profession has made you a physical wreck—

a victim of ‘nerves’ and moods,

When your absorption in your work has made you

practically a stranger to your family,

When your greed for money has darkened and cramped

your wife’s life, and deprived her of self-expression, of

needed rest and recreation, of amusement of any kind,

When all sympathy and fellowship have been crushed out

of your life by selfish devotion to your vocation,

When you do not overtop your vocation,

When you are not greater as a man than as a lawyer, a merchant, a

physician or a scientist,

When you plead that you have never had time to

cultivate your friendships, your politeness, or your good manners,

When you have lost on your way your self-respect, your

courage, your self-control, or any other quality of

manhood, then success has been a failure.

(In Conference Report, Apr. 1969, 113.)