Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Burden Not Ours To Carry

I realized I haven't updated my blog for almost a year, and maybe it's time to redeem it. Although I've been quite busy taking care of my baby who is now a little girl, I do miss the times when I simply feel like posting something here and I find time to do it.

For the last year, I have to admit, I felt terribly hurt by some people who I trusted, some people I almost consider as my family. My hubby who is my very best of best friends know everything about this and he's been the shoulder I cried on to for so many months, I'm more than grateful for having him, for his patience and counsels to help me get through this. He would always remind me to let things go, forget, and forgive, I would agree that he is right. And I also thought I had forgiven these people, but now I think I didn't. There were times I still feel terribly bad about what they did, and I would find reasons and excuses why they did it but could not find comfort in doing so. Why can't I just forgive and forget just like a child. My PPD added to what happened brought so much sadness and tears that I've been trying to conceal from those people around me.

A couple of months ago, I asked my hubby, why would the Lord command us to forgive our neighbor seventy times seven, we're not the one who sinned why give the commandment to us? Why not command those people to ask forgiveness to those they hurt? And why forgive if they haven't ask for forgiveness? Its not making much sense, because first of all you aren't the one who did wrong, its actually you who were hurt. And just as I ponder about it, I understood why. We were asked to forgive because the burden of the sin of other people isn't for us to carry. It's something we don't deserve to carry after all. Maybe that's why we are always counseled to "forGIVE" and "forGET". We have to GIVE that burden to the Lord as we obey his counsel to forgive, and when we do we will GET that peace and comfort for our sorrows. Now it doesn't sound unfair anymore, I know that that commandment is given to us for our own happiness. There is no other way to move on and ease the pains others have inflicted on us, but only through forgiving and forgetting their wrongs. I learned from this experience that we don't have to keep it in our hearts to grow into hatred, make us feel depressed or unhappy, it is something we have to let go, and we don't have to suffer more by carrying that burden with us.

I feel embarrassed as I write this, but I hope you'll learn something that might add up to the smile of happiness and peace in our lives in case there is someone you haven't forgiven yet.