I believe in helping, but I don't believe in giving them their daily fish. I believe that helping is truly helping when we help them establish their lives in the foundation of self reliance. That is the only way through which a person can truly escape poverty, not by leaning to someone else's arm.
Sometimes we over do the assistance we give to our relatives that it leads to the peril of the one we're trying to help. They end up to be lazy and dependent. Unconsciously we are making them feel they are incapable of doing anything for themselves. We are trying to put into their minds that we are more blessed and great because were able to accomplish so much while they are waiting for the mercy of our help. They just have to wait what we will give them, because they will never be capable of achieving something as much as we do. They pity themselves for the circumstances they have, and misses the opportunity to experience how it is to accomplish something great.
When making decisions, instead of making their own, they usually seek for what our say is. We thought their are asking for our opinion, but the truth is they are incapable of making their own decision for fear that they could be wrong. And if things go the wrong way, they couldn't be blamed for it because they only took our advise. They refuse to take responsibility on anything and start to act carefree, the care is ours anyway not for them.
Pride, cowardice and fear are family. A person may refuse to acknowledge the circumstances they are in, they refuse to take responsibility on what's going on in their lives. They wouldn't accept any help that is less than what they expect to be given them. And anything that doesn't meet their expectations offends them. They wish things will be better for them, but they fear the possible outcome once they make any move or any decision. They are scared to take responsibility, wouldn't dare do anything about it for fear that things might get worse. But they hope someone will take responsibility on doing it for their sake. Hopefully someone who will sympathize with them. As the youngest in the family, a young man has been pampered so much by his mother. In spite of his age, he still lives with his mother, no job and they were given a comfortable home and monthly allowance.
Humility, courage, and faith are another family. Usually those who succeed in life have this attributes. They are humble enough to acknowledge their circumstance, thy try to sympathize to those who are less fortunate. They feel grateful with any amount of help you extend to them and will look in every possible way to return the kindness and generosity extended to them or if possible pay it forward to others who might need their help. Many years ago, a friend of mine is in so much need. His family have so much going on with siblings studying while another sibling is sick, and another sibling with special needs. They were grateful for the help extended to them, and they sought ways to return the the favor by doing services in return. Their family sold snacks at the overpass near their home. They looked for part-time jobs no matter meager the pay is because they know no matter how small they earn from it it will help in their expenses. They knew that with hard work things will be better. As I look back on those days and the way I see their family now, I couldn't believe it. All his siblings are successfully engaged in meaningful activities and have good jobs. Their family has started a small restaurant business. He is now a successful engineer and is a good provider to his family.
Sometimes we over do the assistance we give to our relatives that it leads to the peril of the one we're trying to help. They end up to be lazy and dependent. Unconsciously we are making them feel they are incapable of doing anything for themselves. We are trying to put into their minds that we are more blessed and great because were able to accomplish so much while they are waiting for the mercy of our help. They just have to wait what we will give them, because they will never be capable of achieving something as much as we do. They pity themselves for the circumstances they have, and misses the opportunity to experience how it is to accomplish something great.
When making decisions, instead of making their own, they usually seek for what our say is. We thought their are asking for our opinion, but the truth is they are incapable of making their own decision for fear that they could be wrong. And if things go the wrong way, they couldn't be blamed for it because they only took our advise. They refuse to take responsibility on anything and start to act carefree, the care is ours anyway not for them.
Humility, courage, and faith are another family. Usually those who succeed in life have this attributes. They are humble enough to acknowledge their circumstance, thy try to sympathize to those who are less fortunate. They feel grateful with any amount of help you extend to them and will look in every possible way to return the kindness and generosity extended to them or if possible pay it forward to others who might need their help. Many years ago, a friend of mine is in so much need. His family have so much going on with siblings studying while another sibling is sick, and another sibling with special needs. They were grateful for the help extended to them, and they sought ways to return the the favor by doing services in return. Their family sold snacks at the overpass near their home. They looked for part-time jobs no matter meager the pay is because they know no matter how small they earn from it it will help in their expenses. They knew that with hard work things will be better. As I look back on those days and the way I see their family now, I couldn't believe it. All his siblings are successfully engaged in meaningful activities and have good jobs. Their family has started a small restaurant business. He is now a successful engineer and is a good provider to his family.
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