‘When Is Success a Failure?’

When Is Success a Failure?

President Hugh B. Brown

When you are doing the lower while the higher is

possible,

When you are not a cleaner, finer, larger man on

account of your work,

When you live only to eat and drink, have a good time,

and accumulate money, then success is a failure.

When you do not carry a higher wealth in your

character than in your pocketbook,

When the attainment of your ambition has blighted the

aspirations and crushed the hopes of others,

When hunger for more money, more land, more houses

and bonds has grown to be your dominant passion,

When your profession has made you a physical wreck—

a victim of ‘nerves’ and moods,

When your absorption in your work has made you

practically a stranger to your family,

When your greed for money has darkened and cramped

your wife’s life, and deprived her of self-expression, of

needed rest and recreation, of amusement of any kind,

When all sympathy and fellowship have been crushed out

of your life by selfish devotion to your vocation,

When you do not overtop your vocation,

When you are not greater as a man than as a lawyer, a merchant, a

physician or a scientist,

When you plead that you have never had time to

cultivate your friendships, your politeness, or your good manners,

When you have lost on your way your self-respect, your

courage, your self-control, or any other quality of

manhood, then success has been a failure.

(In Conference Report, Apr. 1969, 113.)

Ripples Of Life's Decision

Life is full of choices. It allows us to be happy, and to learn right from wrong. No matter how insignificant we may think those choices are, the consiquences of it will always have a rippling effect on the eternity of our life. 

At an early childhood, I was thought that I must not drink coffee or tea. The things I partake can either benefit or harm my body and I have to be wise on it. As a Latter Day-Saint, I know what to do when the time comes and somebody offer me alcoholic beverage, or asked me to smoke, or partake of anything which can be harmful for my body. A friend of mine asked me to drink tea one time when we were eating at Tokyo Tokyo, and she's briving me she won't tell anybody and she'll give me one thousand pesos if I do. That I have to think of (haha), but I had made my decision prior to the offer, and I must stick to it. I'm grateful for that decision, I'm blessed with good health, aside from minor cough, cold, or flu, I experienced nothing soo serious about my health.

When I was in college, I had a very meager allowance, its not more than a thousand pesos monthly ( year 2001). I had packed lunch everyday, and I try to be as thrifty as I could. I also decided, that I must pay my tithing as soon as I receive it. There are times that I know it'll never be enough to meet the expenses, I don't know how but I was never in financial debt. I was able to buy some things I wanted at the end of the month.

We gain friends on our journey, they always come and go. I witnessed how some stopped coming to church simply to avoid someone who offended them. Right then, I promised myself, no matter what people do, no matter how hurtful it maybe for me, I will stay in the church and never be offended. So far, I never had been offended, and if I do one day, I know there will only be one place where I can gather strength... my home and the church inseparable. 

As part of the  Young Women organization in the church, almost eight years ago. My teachers taught me how important family is, that our family can be together forever for all eternity. I know there can be something more than "till death do us part" when we marry, and I wanted it to be "for all time and all eternity". I understand a standard must be set when dating, the kind of people you date, definitely has something to do with the kind of person you will marry. The choice of whom I will date, and  many more has helped me finally find my eternal companion now. We now have our one year old daughter and when I look at her and hold her I know she'll be a part of me forever, for all eternity and so is my eternal companion. 

There are still lots of choices to make. No matter how difficult the choices maybe, it is choosing the right one that leads us to the abundant blessings in life. When we prove ourselves in doing what's right, we prove ourselves worthy of these blessings.

Happiness In Marriage

There are so many things I do miss for the last two years of being here in the Middle East with dh. First is the Temple, the place where we got married. Second is the singles ward where I used to attend and the institute classes. Third lots of friends and family members. Fourth, lots of foods specially young coconut (buko) and more.

We're trying to resolve on each one. We decided to go on vacation before the end of this year so we could go and visit the temple,  see our friends and families, and eat the foods I miss. There's nothing better than being physically present in an institute class, but for now I'm trying to read some of the online institute student manual. 

I came accross Elder Joe J. Christensen's thought about marriage from the Eternal Marriage Studen Manual, and I want to post it here. He shared eight practical suggestions to strengthening marriages and I also added some of my thoughts on each one.

1. Remember the central importance of your marriage.-

“There is nothing in this world as important as the creation and perfection of family units” (“Salvation Is a Family Affair,” Improvement Era, June 1970, pp. 43–44).

What could be more important than marriage,  our family must always be at the top of our priorities.

2. Pray for its success.- 

  Elder Kimball shared this wise counsel: “Well, don’t just pray to marry the one you love. Instead, pray to love the one you marry. ”

And so the need to pray. Many Church leaders and marriage counselors indicate that they have not seen one marriage in serious trouble where the couple was still praying together daily. When problems arise and marriages are threatened, praying together as a couple may be the most important remedy.

Its explained well and I agree 100%. I remember when we got married, my honorable Grandma and Grandpa Meyer wrote on their letter to us: "Be kind to one another and talk over any disagreement. That way no ill feelings build up. Keep it friendly and never go to bed unhappy".  When time comes that you don't feel like talking to each other, its the best time to ask your partner to kneel down and pray. Prayer changes the way you feel, and it enlightens us to understand each other. 

3. Listen.- 

Make the time to listen to your spouse; even schedule it regularly. Visit with each other and assess how you are doing as a marriage partner.

Do you do family counsel? Family home evening? Every monday evening all things are set aside in our home. We sit together as a family, sing hymns, and talk about improving ourselves, resolving concerns and problems. 

4. Avoid “ceaseless pinpricking.”- 

Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults. Recognize that none of us is perfect. We all have a long way to go to become as Christlike as our leaders have urged us to become.At times it       is better to leave some things unsaid.

The problem with me is that I leave things unsaid almost all the time, you know the quiet type when you're mad or hurt. When we often leave things unsaid, as kenji said, you can't resolve the matter and it keeps on being repeated. We have to find way to communicate in a nice way, and if you can't go back to number 2.

5.Keep your courtship alive.-

Make time to do things together—just the two of you. As important as it is to be with the children as a family, you need regular weekly time alone together. Scheduling it will let your children know that you feel that your marriage is so important that you need to nurture it. That takes commitment, planning, and scheduling.

It doesn’t need to be costly. The time together is the most important element.

Once when my father-in-law was leaving the house after lunch to return to the field to work, my        mother-in-law said, “Albert, you get right back in here and tell me you love me.” He grinned and      jokingly said, “Elsie, when we were married, I told you I loved you, and if that ever changes, I’ll        let you know.” It’s hard to overuse the expression “I love you.” Use it daily.

We always have a night out, but not 'just the two of us'. I wonder if this applies if you have one year old. I think we should start looking for someone where we could leave Hevyn so we could go on a date together.

6. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry.”-

As hard as it is to form the words, be swift to say, “I apologize, and please forgive me,” even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing       to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses.

When differences do arise, being able to discuss and resolve them is important, but there are instances when it is best to take a time-out. Biting your tongue and counting to ten or even a hundred is important. And occasionally, even letting the sun go down on your wrath can help bring you back to the problem in the morning more rested, calm, and with a better chance for resolution.

Dh is good at this, no question. I really admire him for being so humble, apologizing even if it isn't his fault. 

7. Learn to live within your means.- 

Some of the most difficult challenges in marriage arise in the area of finances. “The American     Bar Association . . . indicated that 89 percent of all divorces could be traced to quarrels and         accusations over money” (M. J. Ashton, “One for the Money,” Ensign, July1975,).

Be willing to postpone or forgo some purchases in order to stay within your budget.

Pay your tithing first, and avoid debt insofar as possible. Remember that spending fifty dollars a      month less than you receive equals happiness and spending fifty more equals misery. The time may have come to get out the scissors and your credit cards and perform what Elder Jeffrey R. Holland called some “plastic surgery” ( “Things We Have Learned— Together,” Ensign,)

Heads high on this. We don't have any credit card at all. And we agreed, never to quarrel about finances. Let your husband try  do the budgetting, at least he'll have an idea of the actual financial needs of his family, his role is to provide for the family at least get him involved in this. You'll be surprised, it will make him more responsible financially.

8. Be a true partner in home and family responsibilities.- 

Don’t be like the husband who sits around home expecting to be waited on, feeling that earning the living is his chore and that his wife alone is responsible for the house and taking care of the children. The task of caring for home and family is more than one person’s responsibility.

Find time to study the scriptures together, and follow this sound counsel from President

Kenji, thanks for washing the dishes every night. 

I've known a lot of brethren who do things in the house, who's willing to work specially in the kitchen. These are the men we should admire. They're not lazy and not stubborn, specially when you ask them for help in the household chores. 

As Pres. Kimball said:  “When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste, mentally and physically, . . . and both are working together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle” ( Marriage and Divorce [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1976], p. 24).

Another Weird Dream

Sleeping seemed so hard for me the past few weeks. I don't know why I can't get myself to sleep although I feel really tired and sleepy. Anyway, I miss being able to sleep and dreaming. The last dream I had is kind of weird. I'm writing it here as a counsel from dh to write down all the dreams I can remember each night. lol. Ask him why, every time I wake up I have one or more stories to tell from the dreams I had. 

Of course this dream has something to do with the 72 hour kit just like the previous dreams I had. In my dream I can see New York City, although I've never been there, I can see four nuclear power plants at the same time and all those four started to melt-down and there's a big explosion. Then news started flashing on tv about it telling that the radioactive wave has reached Thailand and almost 3/4 of the earth is affected. In my dream we( dh, hevyn, and me) happened to be having our vacation in the Philippines and we're safe but we're warned to be alert, stay together and be ready for any possibilities. Also I didn't worry much about my 72 hour kit, having it right beside. And when I woke up, I told dh about it, and asked him how many nuc power plants are there in NY. He advised me to google it and to my surprise there are four just like in my dream, of course its just a coincidence. Again a product of my not too wild imagination,  and worries. 

I'm happy that we have our 72 hour kit ready, but to be prepared means more than the 72 hour kit, I know its important to stay together and be ready in all things as family. If our family has to stay together we have to do things together in unity. Our preparedness always starts with our family. 

 Elder Henry B. Eyring said: "In our own time, we have been warned with counsel on where to find safety from sin and from sorrow. One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated. . . . When the words of the prophets seem repetitive, that should rivet our attention and fill our hearts with gratitude to live in such a blessed time.

"Looking for the path to safety in the counsel of prophets makes sense to those with strong faith."

How grateful I am for the leaders that we have to guide and counsel us.Happiness is when we obey the Lord and the counsel of his servants, there is no other way to be truly happy except when we try to live a righteous life.

We often talk about how uncertain things seem to be these times, global crisis and slipping moral footings.  Those who stand for their beliefs and fought in defending their values find themselves picketed, ridiculed or persecuted by so doing, I'm happy we found this place where we can find common moral values with the Muslims. 

 As Pres. Monson said "It would be easy to become discouraged and cynical about the future—or even fearful or what might come—if we allowed ourselves to dwell on only which is wrong in the world and in our lives" 

"My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."

I think the best thing we can do, is to continue doing what we know is right, continue in faith, and stand firm in our values and for what is right. Wherever we are in world, there is no other place we can trust to be safest other than our homes, with our families and the key is to strengthen it and keep each one united. Nothing can influence our children more than what we teach and do inside our homes.

Global Launch of the 2009 Pinoy Expats-OFW Blog Awards

Any successful endeavor is worth repeating and much more sustained. Especially when it touches and inspires the lives of the people for whom it dedicate its toils, pain, and achievements. Such are the motivations for which the 2009 Top 10 Pinoy Expat/OFW Blog Award (PEBA) is once again being launched online. Wikipedia mention of PEBA  here.

In its second year, PEBA will recognize Pinoy Expats and OFWs bloggers making a difference in their lives, workplace, community, the Philippines and the world in general. 

This year the theme is 

“Filipinos Abroad – Hope of the Nation, Gift to the World”. 

Cognizant and directly affected by the brunt of global financial crisis, Filipinos continue to anchor their hope and trust to their family members abroad as herald of better news and good tidings. Thus, reinforcing the OFWs and Filipino expats role and image as new heroes and saviors.

PEBA also recognizes that Filipinos wherever they are, be it land-based, sea-based or air-based as the case maybe, are shining examples of dedication, diligence, and excellence in almost anything they do. It is not uncommon for them to be praised as assets to companies and organizations contributing to the social and economic well being of their host country.PEBA considers the more than 12m overseas Filipinos scattered abroad as gifts to make this world a better place to live.

The award which started last year had a very simple objective. It was created to award bloggers who infuses enthusiasm and inspiration for others to do good and be hopeful in this world of hopelessness. Filipino expats and OFWs with their talents, means, resources and blogs unfailingly served as voice and beacon of hope. Ten top bloggers were identified from around the globe such as theAmericas, Europe, Africa and Middle East, and Asia and the Pacific, who, up until these days continue to blog and their commitment re-ignited in contributing change through their own little ways.

So for this year with the valuable help of numerous individuals from around the globe, the search is on again. Filipino bloggers and netizens are invited to recognize Pinoy Expats/OFW who tireless blog in making the blogosphere a better space and place for exchange, discussion, and service of the Filipinos and the citizens of the world alike. It is worth knowing and learning those stories of Filipinos overcoming difficulties and challenges. Although it is a reality that not everyone is successful but still their stories are way for others to gain insight from their life lessons and experiences.

From May to October 2009 any Filipino blogger can nominate or be nominated except for last year’s top 10 PEBA awardees. Guidelines are available from its official blogsite (click here). By December 2009 winners will be announced in a public event in the Philippines whose details are still being prepared and ironed out. Sponsors, supporters and volunteers are very much welcome to make this endeavor a success.

Be part of another historic event of Pinoy Expats and OFWs!

Creamy Chicken Squash Soup

I learned this recipe when I was in college, because it's easy and requires only few ingredients. Hubby requested for this yesterday, and he enjoyed it together with Hevyn.

Creamy Chicken Squash Soup

Ingredients:

1/2 kilo chicken breast

3 cups water

1 medium size butternut squash, peeled and cut into cubes

1 small can evaporated milk

1 tsp salt

1. Boil 3 cups of water, put the chicken and boil for 20 minutes in low heat or until cooked and tender, add the squash.

2. Remove the chicken breast while cooking the squash. Let it cool, debone and flake the meat.

3. Let the squash boil in the chicken stock for 10 to 20 minutes on low heat, or until tender. Mash it or puree the squash. This will thicken the chicken stock. 

4. Put back the flaked chicken meat in the squash soup and mix well. Let simmer for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pour the evaporated milk and stir gently. 

 

Power Of Name

What's in a name?

My husband always ask me this. Whenever we go shopping, I always look for certain brand names. I always remind him though that there are brands worth looking for, brands that has established good impression to customer not because they are sooo expensive rather because of the unquestionable quality of goods they sell. Its better to spend more for an item that can stand wear and tear than buy that which is cheaper and gets worn easily. 

I wonder if it's the same when it comes to our names.  Does it also give an impression of who we are. As to what I know names have their own meanings. My name is an Irish name which means blind and beauty; my husbands name means a leader- which I can assure you true based on the things he's doing now and even before. Beacause I'm a little paranoid about the meaning of my name, I did make a careful research on names when I was pregnant to make sure my daughter will have a name with good meaning which is heaven's wisdom. 

Only today did I learn the names also has its power, and here are ours.

This is my daughter's name power:

Your Name's Power is Perception

Your name's power is that it helps you be perceptive. Your name conveys both wholeness and wisdom. People who meet you can't help but think you are enlightened. You try to live your life with flexibility and insight.

My husband's:

Your Name's Power is Beauty

Your name's power is that it helps you be beautiful. Your name conveys both a pleasant and kind attitude. People who meet you can't help but think you are delightful. You try to live your life with honesty and affection.

And mine:

Your Name's Power is Creativity

Your name's power is that it helps you be creative. Your name conveys both purity and skill. People who meet you can't help but think you are charming. You try to live your life with people you trust, surrounded by nature.

What's Your Name's Power?

Another Face of Pride- Gossip

As the days go on, everyday gets busier.  Household chores, Hevyn, some part time jobs, and some of dh's heart warming project to help a friend who is in need... these are only some of the things that takes my time. I still feel depressed (due to PPD) at times, and the more I feel depressed the more I try to isolate myself from a lot of people I know - my social absence with them has given them time to develop the wrong impression of me being unfriendly . The impression turned into false rumors and now into really dirty gossips, which I think is not really healthy.

I'm venting here because I know they wouldn't be reading my blog anyway unless they know I do blog. At a point I do hope they stumble upon this blog and read this.  There's a feeling that I wanted to confront them but I don't want anything hurtful to come out of my mouth, and the thought of an argument which might end up to contention involving a lot of people doesn't really fit my personality. It feels like I'm a  hollywood star, they are the producer of course. The production will never be a hit, with the contract unsigned, story unacted by the actress.

How could someone find pleasure making up stories and spreading it. As President Benson said, "We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them." Gossip is another face of pride we should never welcome, and if it ever knocks on our doors we should put end to it and not pass it on. 

Gossip is  another face of PRIDE- the universal sin, the great vice. It is the same pride (or gossip) that offends people,  cause contention,  results to broken families,  destroys our relationship with our friends and those we love, it is that destroyed the Jaredites, Nephites and many civilizations in the scriptures. Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing. "It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous."-(Beware of Pride- E.T. Benson)

It results in secret combination to get power or gain the glory of the world. 

Gossip is a very hurtful and destructive thing you wouldn't want to get your hands dirty with. Lets get rid of it, and try to find and share good things about others instead. There's really nothing good we can get from it.